“We couldn’t possibly be this stupid if we had nothing else to do.”
-Grey
“Chemistry and I have a hate-hate anger relationship.”
-Dozer
“This homework stuff is all relative—relative to how bad I want a chocolate milkshake.”
-Ludwhig
“Llama.”
-Fjord
“You might as well give your soul to God because you sure aren’t graduating with it.”
-Grey
“Operation stay-awake; mission status: failed!”
-Panic
“Sure the program works, as long as the planets align, the phase of the moon is correct, and you’re wearing the right tie.”
-Jester
“Ah, the wonders of stupidity.”
-Blue
“Put aside the teenager—and become the nerd you were born to be.”
-Grey
"You can breath in SAGA and get calories."
-Shrug
"I'm in charge; I'm not quite sure why."
-Slurpee
"It's kinda past my speaking curfew."
-Trolley
"It's amazing what you can accomplish with little more than a positive attitude and an acetylene torch."
-Grey
"That's a joke."
-Sparrow
"It's a terrible world."
-Coda
"Programming in java is like dancing with an elephant--it's hard to do, but if you can do it you'll have the floor all to yourself."
-Wasabi
"I have Kidney Stones--I mean Cornerstones--with Dr. DeBoer."
-Synk
"I hate to be a prophet of doom but...DOOM!"
-Grey
"Great, a bomb with Alzheimer's."
-Paco
"There's no point in them living if they're not all gonna die."
-Crikey
"Get back in front of the computer, nerd!"
-Pebble
"I'm feelin' the love... and it's way over there somewhere."
-Beaker
"It's a fine line between 'proper programming' and insanity"
-Zoot
"I have a tolerance of plus or minus Tom."
-Vault
"It has somehow ended in Stack getting a trained monkey."
-Grey
"When I get a buffer overflow error listening to you, it's not good."
-Panic
"I'm detrimental to your health."
-Ghillie
"Anything over a hundred volts is gonna do something to a pickle."
-Kick
"Best if used by the apocalypse."
-Joust
"You're an engineer, you'll build crap - there you go."
-Frisbee
"I don't know what you said but I think it's bad theology."
-Kick
"If I'm gonna die, I'd rather not have homework to do."
-Panic
"Define real life... the analog world."
-Shutter
"I'm not a cross product, because cross products are normal"
-Grey
"I guess you're the dictator then"
-Play-Doh
"Be here, or the ethernet cable gets it."
-Synk
"That requires money, this just requires the risk of destroying expensive equipment."
-Joust
"Give me donut or give me death!"
-Nutcracker
"Don't tell me you've never wanted to plug a whale's blowhole with burning tobacco."
-Kick
"Act your species."
-Paco
"I do what beer does except cheaper."
-Rook
"I welded my roommate to his wife."
-Slurpee
"I'll sell out my brothers for $65."
-Kick
"I hate everything."
-Synk
"If something bad happens I probably did it."
-Slurpee
"It is not alive--it is a binary conglomerate."
-Paco
"I reserve the right to kill anyone."
-Dozer
"Just because I've offset my center of gravity by a reasonable amount doesn't mean anything."
-Grey
"Biology isn't the study of life--it's the study of everything that can destroy life."
-Play-Doh
"I want my bacon!"
-Dozer
"You're killing my pizazz!"
-Paco
"I'm missing my life."
-Crunchy
"Totally tubular."
-Mu-shu
"Turn that frown upside down, soldier."
-Dozer
"Hurricanes are more fun when you don't have shelter."
-Grey
"Depending on whose blood it is, it will either be left there or cleaned up shortly thereafter."
-Beaker
"Do you know how many monkeys died for that pudding?."
-Paco
"I have singing pants."
-Nutcracker
"Life has to start before you can kill it."
-Play-Doh
"I found numbers!"
-Synk
"Dr. Graff isn't scary...he's crazy!"
-Dozer
"How healthy do you need to be?"
-Paco
"You should hang out with Shutter; his professed hobby is being bored."
-Play-Doh
"I'm not the victim; I make victims."
-Dozer
"If held at gunpoint, I will do what I am told. If held at knifepoint I will be a servant."
-Dozer (on behalf of Synk)
"You shouldn't be reading a book while you drive."
-Panic
"Oh my goodness! 9 volts across my heart!."
-Dozer
"We exist to become freshmen."
-Jester
"Yes, I can kill you with chopsticks."
-Dozer
"Your brain will be quite active--and then it won't be."
-Grey
"I as your RA am required to threaten you often."
-Dozer
"But isn't it useful random math crap?"
-Kick
"With the world in flames, there's a lot more that you can do than roast marshmallows."
-Synk
"It's largely painless after you pass out."
-Pebble
"Wouldn't it be so cool if you had to like, make out with a superhero everytime you wanted your pez?."
-Kick
"I want to get funding to go bungee-jumping into a black hole."
-Play-Doh
"I hate that light with an undying passion of a thousand jaguars."
-Dozer
"Subject to this offense, Dozer will break your body and Grey will eat your mind. May God have mercy on your soul."
-Grey
"How do you take the integral of a hat... over a mushroom... with respect to a circle? I don't know."
-Play-Doh
"I hereby separate you from yourself for the rest of the evening."
-Paco
"Y'all need to die."
-Nutcracker
"Apparently I was making the assumption that you are stupid."
-Play-Doh
"That would be awesome; suicide bees!."
-Synk
"I have a very exothermic reaction taking place inside my lungs."
-Paco
"So, what if the robot creates a sentient bunny?."
-Wharf
"We're paradoxical; we're very smart and very stupid at the same time."
-Balto
"Pirouetting is not for engineers."
-Play-Doh
"The sheep with bling!?! That was awesome!."
-Frisbee
"That's not my problem--I sell shirts, not relationships."
-Paco
"If you don't want to think, that's your choice."
-Glyph
"I've drunk from the same flask as Dr. G.!"
-Synk
"The world's perspiring against you."
-Crikey
"Excuse me as my paranoia shifts into overdrive."
-Synk
"He's making out with the cream soda."
-Treads
"Why is my life being narrated?"
-Synk
"I came for 25 cents of happiness."
-Wharf
"They would come from 27 miles away--with a paddle."
-Ghillie
"You've tortured midgets to make your product."
-Synk
"I sleep almost every day."
-Mu-shu
"If you find yourself splattered in vomit in a few minutes, take me to the hospital, would ya?"
-Pebble
"Now my mind has a screensaver."
-Synk
"I'm going to mix wine and grapejuice. And what I mean by that is I'm going to mix Sprite and grapejuice."
-Kick
"I live where there's normal people--I frighten them."
-Grey
"Dancing is a sin--especially when I do it."
-Synk
"I don't want people's bones behind our couch."
-Panic
"I can't wait to see the bear that's going to emerge from your chin."
-Kick
"I'm better at breaking things."
-Synk
"Hypothetically, you need to turn on your brain."
-Panic
"Some things in life are Hobo."
-Brett
"That is not an official occupant of that room."
-Panic
"What would you do if you saw a squid running at 70 mph?."
-Kick
"That's why we make Teflon; so that nowdays, when you kill someone, you CAN get the blood off your hands."
-Synk
"You have the wrong personality for someone who doesn't like to be shot."
-Paco
"That's what you do, isn't it? Brainwash little children."
-Crikey
"There's gotta be an easier way to break stuff."
-Vici
"I'll sell your flashdrive back to you for $5.99."
-Panic
"That is all manner of not right!"
-Grey
"I have a roommate who causes rips in the space-time continuum--it's kinda hard to be on time when you live with that."
-Treads
"What's the definition of a good nuke life?"
-Beaker
"I think it's more along the lines of 'why are you still here, you heathen?'"
-Paco
"As long as its a good corruption."
-Grey
"I love you so much--in a really not-awkward way."
-Synk
"They're not sharp, they're pointy."
-Treads
"I hate it when I change my pants."
-Copper
"There will be demon rabbits inhabiting our lounge?."
-Grey
"I can fine you with premeditated uncleanliness."
-Dozer
"I love killing the planet--the sooner we kill it the sooner we get to leave."
-Smalls
"I'm dead, but I carry it well."
-Grey
"I need a robot to do my vacuuming; I'm totally incompetent."
-Play-Doh
"Perhaps I should install a safe--to put my clothes in."
-Shutter
"Proof by exhaustion is not a valid proof."
-Wharf
"Now count to infinity! Dance monkey, dance!"
-Zoot
"No, you missed it; you either leave your roommate very happy or very dead--no in between, you see?"
-Shutter
"I'll figure it out and then you'll become the fragment of my imagination."
-Ghillie
"You can't take things into the afterlife like that."
-Shutter
"I have nightmares for glasses."
-Synk
"I had a sworn enemy in highschool who was an engineer--which is better than what you've got."
-Shutter
"I always die in these stories."
-Synk
"Oh, I forgot...I have my girlfriend in my room."
-Gauge
"Soap doesn't wash out nerd."
-Play-Doh
"I am going to highlight your boredom by singing '99 bottles of beer on the wall.'"
-Grey
"That's a really intense picture of a grape."
-Treads
"Excuse me, I out-nerd you."
-Grey
"Whoa! I can't say these big words--it's more than three syllables."
-Glyph
"Grey, you left your screwdriver in my room, so I took the liberty of giving it a dress and naming it Denise."
-Kick
"I believe in polluting the environment to the max."
-Panic
"Sometimes to heal the person you have to chop off their head."
-Play-Doh
"Fifteen-hundred pages of badly written nonsense."
-Panic
"Look out Indian telemarketing companies! The mountains are coming!"
-Synk
"I thought that was highly illegal and you would be instantly killed by the ghost of Corey Ross."
-Shutter
"You lose years of your life by going to college."
-Dozer
"What's the point of being dead if you can't go around and bug people?"
-Wharf
"BAM! My clothes are gone!"
-Dozer
"Why are you embracing the refrigerator?"
-Copper
"I'm new to this whole controlling space-time thing."
-Shutter
"I'm being attacked by crabs."
-Kick
"You need a caffeinated hug."
-Balto
"The knives keep coming closer."
-Dozer
"I want a squeedily spooch."
-Zoot
"If it isn't a tradition you can't have an anti-tradition of that non-tradition."
-Glyph
"Move! MOVE!! I mean, 'Move the knife into my hand. Gently.'"
-Play-Doh
"Are you trying to act like celery?"
-Nutcracker
"Your counter example is flawed."
-Play-Doh
"Ignorance is bliss...I'm a very happy person."
-Glyph
"Killing live people is way worse than killing dead people."
-Touché
"I have no clue what I'm drinking, but it tastes awesome!"
-Glyph
"I should do something productive. Does anyone want to go to IHOP?"
-Ghillie
"Switch the light off--we need to shed blood."
-Play-Doh
"I'd give someone the benefit of the doubt...of existing."
-Mu-Shu
"I'm accidentally suffocating myself on your shoulder."
-Grey
"Bring your face to my hand and slap yourself!"
-Synk
"I think I need to kill you soon, as that would be the path of most convenience."
-Play-Doh
"Do remember that PowerPoint is not pants."
-Shutter
"You're only allowed to commit suicide if you don't injure yourself."
-Panic
"I guarantee that you will not get showered on Tyler if you are on fire."
-Grey
"It's Thursday again...do you have an escape plan?"
-Treads
"My computer's favorite artist is Ozzy Osbourne."
-Scorch
"I speak to my wife using a teleprompt."
-Blue
"Your soul is overdrawn."
-Grey
"I feel this instinctive need to disagree."
-Touché
"I want you to demonstrate a talent--other than shaving your legs."
-Shutter
"Okay, he's a moron. But he has my respect and admiration."
-Synk
"You will succumb to my giving you death."
-Nutcracker
"It's all about the execution."
-Copper
"I'm begging you...with violence."
-Play-Doh
"There you go with them big words again."
-Shutter
"I can program your brain from right here."
-Panic
"Spiders invented coffee."
-Riff
"I don't think punching solves everything--sometimes you need to kick them as well."
-Beaker
"It's good to keep a buffer of crazy people around you. It keeps out the riffraff."
-Play-Doh
"Nerds don't even need alcohol to be stupid."
-Paco
"My mob is worse than your mob."
-Glyph
"Charge with the fury of a thousand crazy psychos!"
-Play-Doh
"You're not a loser, Synk. You just haven't won yet."
-Riff (regarding girlfriends)
"Can you be the public face of me?"
-Synk
"It's usually proper to let the train hit you--not the other way around."
-Treads
"Is this not the cutest little murder weapon you have ever seen?"
-Synk
"Let's hope trees are bad at math."
-Zoot
"It's like buy a car and get a free tire."
-Vici
"Oh, thank you for pushing me down the berm yesterday!"
-Zoot
"We changed the mascot to a fire breathing dragon. We were going to train it to go over to ETBU, burn it, and carry back their women."
-Gauge
"If it wasn't for my professors I'd learn a whole lot more."
-Glyph
"We have a limited ability to avoid fwump."
-Balto
"Sandwiches ought not be subjected to interrogation."
-Kick
"That's not unfit--that's brilliant!"
-Glyph
"I love life--it's so stressful."
-Synk
"Ripstick can't be used as a sword."
-Suede
"Let's try this again. This time without the fail."
-Zoot
"I brought you onto this floor, I can take you off!"
-Dozer
"I'm sorry, not even I'm that two dimensional."
-Grey
"When asking a girl out, don't be an engineer. It helps."
-Dozer
"Logic shall always triumph unless used against me."
-Grey
"Rousseau is dead."
-Shutter
"You need to visit a lawn mower."
-Playdoh
"Yeah, the living customers are just a pain, all they do is cry."
-Shutter
"I'm sensing a high reading on the nerd-ometer."
-Playdoh
"Land mines are not good at kissing."
-Glyph
"My dream car doesn't even have brakes."
-Nutcracker
"My death will be recorded because it will measure at least 8 on the Richter scale."
-Grey
"We need to tell him a new lie. This last one turned out to be true!"
-Playdoh
"If you think a girl likes you and you go to LeTourneau, you're probably wrong."
-Pyrex
"I do not file my pants."
-Panic
"There's a special place in hell for what I said."
-Treads
"I was among the undead...I think I saw you across the killing field."
-Wharf
"It takes a lot of energy keeping track of people keeping track of you."
-Paco
"It's an intelligent MAG-LITE. It has nothing better to do than take over the world."
-Shutter
"I'm suspicious of the -ish."
-Synk
"I am not a good communicator--I'd rather take Facebook quizzes."
-Treads
"No icebergs in the hallway."
-Treads
"I'm just trying to kill you. Just let it happen."
-Nutcracker
"Did you get all the cheese ninjas?"
-Shutter
"I am physics, and sir, you are lying."
-Grey
"You're an idiot! I hate myself!"
-Pyrex
"Procurement underway, Captian!"
-Dozer
"You sir are brilliant; you have uncovered my scheme--now fall for it!"
-Shutter
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you in the pancreas."
-Amp
"Paco, shut up and graduate!"
-Synk
"I could have been a nerd--I chose not to."
-Pyrex
"In the lab, you can never see the sun, but you can always hear the rain."
-Grey
"Violence! It's always on time."
-Synk
"Ow! I'm dead now...that's lame."
-Gauge
"I am the voice inside the voices inside my head's heads."
-Grey
"Everyone's happy! I'm happy, and I make up for everyone else."
-Glyph
"You can only divide by zero with a TI-89 or above. Because there's no way you're destroying the universe for under 200 dollars."
-Gauge
"1 is the mafia of prime numbers."
-Glyph
"I can't see where I'm goin', but who needs to when you look this cool?"
-Beaker (on behalf of Hopps)
"I wouldn't make a good crook, I'd be too happy about it."
-Glyph
"I was busy trying to ward off our room."
-Riff
"Engagement is a much more immediate problem."
-Pyrex
"You can get a new wireless mouth."
-Pyrex
"Hazardous cargo? We've got Pyrex."
-Shutter
"That's another thing about big cars--when you meet small car, you win."
-Pyrex
"I've always wanted a suicide note of my very own."
-Treads
"You don't get my eyeballs."
-Synk
"How much popcorn can you fit in Bose' ears?"
-Treads
"It's like daydreaming, except more public."
-Pyrex
"It's 9:19. I have approximately...a lot of hours...before it's due."
-Shutter
"A lot of it was Gauge, while juggling Treads' breakfast."
-Shutter
"You look like you're as special as I am--let's talk about this."
-Crikey
"What is this desire to do something feel like? I don't think I've ever actually had it."
-Synk
"Eventually you will succumb to the harmonious cheese-sayers."
-Grey
"That's baby for Never give up! Never Surrender!"
-Forge
"Somebody spiked the Ramen."
-Shutter
"Women rarely aid a situation."
-Forge
"This whole, like, trusting me--it's gotta stop."
-Synk
"I resign my position as floor capacitor."
-Paco
"I heard you chewing then I looked at the crayons and I thought, 'that's not healthy.'"
-Gauge
"If you come here for an M.R.S. degree, every day is a career fair."
-Synk
"This is not a fire hazard, it's an obstacle course."
-Touché
"I tried sleep; it didn't work for me."
-Summit
"If you put caffeine in the lemonade, you'll have a lot less secrets."
-Glyph
"I'll help him unless Grey killed me."
-Crikey
"Bacon's the best thing that ever happened to the burger--except maybe beef."
-Glyph
"Whoa! The Hudson Bay is huge! Who put all that water there?"
-Shutter